How uncertainty leads us to depend on God

I will be the first to admit that I have my days when I struggle to know what my future looks like.  I hate the unknown especially when I really hope and want a certain outcome to happen. I often get plagued by my insecurities or fears of scenarios that could happen and I feel like I’m so out of control which I absolutely hate. (Today and yesterday has been one of those days, so I decided to write what I’ve learned from this during my quiet time with the lord. )

Because of the society we live in ( well for me anyway), we are accustomed to wanting answers to every detail of our lives. We are desperate about wanting to know what the next step in life should be. Should I pursue higher education? What career should I pursue? Should I buy a new home, maybe I should get a new job? When is the right time to have children? Am I ready for ministry?

For example in a dating, we are prone to try and seize control of the situation. Affection and vulnerability with a lack of covenantal commitment is a tension that can end in either in a breakup or marriage. The stakes are high on both sides, and the pressure and fear that accompanies those stakes very likely will not be resolved in the dating process. So comes the unknown question of will I marry this person that im dating etc... In addition, there are difficulties such as sickness, finances, loss of a job, insecurity, and doubt about our purpose.

I’m not saying we should not want good things or aim high but I believe that with wanting to succeed to better you trusting God is essential. However, what I am talking about is how do I trust God when I need an answer or am praying for something specific and I don’t have it?

Being uncertain about an unknown circumstance or outcome does not make you less of a believer but God revealed to me that it’s a catalyst to sharpen my faith, and moreover my dependency  and trust in Him and not in my situation and the results of it, but rather the one who is in control. I need to reach to God and trust He will lead me in every season of your life. God revealed that my faith is rooted in my wants and not in Him to meet every one of my desires and want in a way He sees fit for my life. God reminded me that no one or want should replace Him above all nor can it be a substitute for Him.

“4You shall not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens above, the earth below, or the waters under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…” Exodus 20:5

So in saying that there are some things I want to share with you.

You can’t depend on what you see or your own strength.

I have made the mistake of thinking that I had to have everything under control. Perhaps, like me you have been hurt before and at times find it hard trusting people. King Solomon was someone who realised that trusting God above all things should be fundamental. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” other versions read “depend” on your own understanding or your own strength. It emphasizes to “TRUST IN THE LORD with all of your heart.” God wants to reveal himself to you on a deeper level, especially in those shaky situations of your life, to make you realise that He is constant and ever-changing but you must learn to surrender it to God. 

King Solomon also states to trust the Lord “with all of our heart.” Now, this also stands out! He did not say, “Trust the Lord with your entire mind,” because if it were that way an individual can know that they should trust, but not truly live by it which is completely different. To trust with “all of our heart,” means to live out a trust rooted in the Lord. This should be reflected in our actions. This means acting according to His promises when thoughts of doubt come you divert them back to the Lord “…demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Thoughts to Be Trained—the thoughts must be trained. Gird up the loins of the mind that it shall work in the right direction and after the order of well-formed plans; then every step is one in advance, and no effort or time is lost in following vague ideas and random plans. We must consider the aim and object of life, and ever keep worthy purposes in view. Every day the thoughts should be trained and kept to the point as the compass to the pole. Everyone should have his aims and purposes, and then make every thought and action of that character to accomplish that which he purposes. The thoughts must be controlled. There must be a fixedness of purpose to carry out that which you shall undertake.—Letter 33, 1886. (Our High Calling, 112.)

1. Seek God

 I’ve found that my most precious moments in life have been in God’s presence, as I am on my knees, crying out with all of my heart and soul. Those are the moments that we find full rest in God. In 1 Chronicles 16:11 tells us  to, “Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.” Seeking God continually means to search for God not just in our time of need or when we have plenty, but at all times! As you are driving, making decisions at work, conversing with others, making plans, or figuring out the next chapter of our life, seek God! In moments of frustration, loneliness, and desperation, seek God! Even if you are loss for words, don’t know how to approach God because the hurt is tearing you down,  Talk to Him. Even if you are resettling, you keep praying but you feel that God is not near. Seek God still!

2. Put God first

The moment we put God first, God acts on our behalf. God loves us so much and because he loves, he knows what is best for our life. He cares for our needs; he knows what is beneficial and what brings destruction.

I’m learning that God wants me to be governed by faith. My future as well as my needs is certain to God. He has all the foreknowledge, power, resources, and desire to turn everything for good for those who love Him and are called by Him (Romans 8:28).Uncertain seasons have been the most powerful God-moments I have experienced. Those moments show me that God exists and I can’t walk by sight. These seasons truly reveal my heart and what I have placed my hope in (Hebrews 11:6).

So if you are in one of those seasons, take heart. One of my favourite song lyrics by singer Tori Kelly says:

“Teach me how to love You

Show me how to trust You

More than with my words or with a song

No, it's not been easy

To live life down on my knees

But with faith I know I'll carry on

“There is more to see than with my eyes

But fear sometimes can leave me paralyzed

I realize that I'm not in control

Yet it is well with my soul”

I will trust in God, as I walk He WILL direct my paths.

Old Habits die Hard: beaten but i'm victorious

Why can’t you get this right … You’re such a failure”, “maybe you should just leave it... I mean it’s not that bad anyway right? “You’ll never get through it”, “why even bother?” “Do you think Jesus loves you and you keep falling for the same sins?”, “am I really saved?”

These are the many thoughts which have often plagued my mind during a period of brokenness, impatience, after failing at something, or when I felt like I took two steps forward and ten steps back. Recently I went through one of those periods whereby I have been impatient. I was just hard on myself and felt like I just wasn’t where I needed to be in life and I was failing at life miserably.

So I said to God I needed Him to come and work on me and He shown a light on something I had lost  my grasp on. A key thing which he revealed and I have come to learn and understand especially during a point of weakness is that there is a there is a difference between conviction and condemnation. 

Conviction: It’s a horrible feeling but it has good purpose so we can be converted and renewed to be in the image of Christ (see Isaiah 1:18). That is God’s way of tugging at our hearts to say, “Be on guard, you’re a child of God and Satan seeks to take you out”, “you’re slipping away, come home”, or “you know that didn’t please me, that was your old sinful nature, but come meet me in prayer and let’s get you clean”. Condemnation: This is no good feeling either and it’s certainly not from God. It’s not God’s will for any to perish (see 2 Peter 3:9). Jesus himself said he didn’t come to condemn, but to save us (see John 3:17). Condemnation is that voice when you hear “you will never get through this,” “you're a failure” “you need to show them” “just leave the church” or “God doesn’t love you and will never forgive you.”

Don’t get it twisted, God is not and will never be happy when we sin, and He certainly will not turn a blind eye to it, BUT He won’t simply cut you off for making a mistake. The bible shows that God is gracious, and only leaves us to do whatever we want when we clearly show Him we don’t want to listen (Romans 1:20-32). This was one of the things I was really finding it hard to come to grips and understand. This led me to a refresher on the prodigal son. This is one of many examples of what happens when we decide to do our own thing (sin). God is watching and waiting daily for us to return, but he won’t force us to come back. Yet, his love is displayed when He sees we made the effort to come back and He will run to meet us (Luke 15:11-32). Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. (James 4:8).

This was a major point for me. The major point being when WE make the EFFORT to come back and choose to lay aside our sins every day. See coming to God is a personal choice but know that we can’t be for God and be partaking in sin and many other trifling behaviours because it’s NOT God. In other words “he ain’t about that life”. This is where conviction comes into play and The Holy Spirit prompts us to let it go and chose to live Holy. When we disobey we are rebelling just like Satan did and we are essentially saying we are on His side. Disobedience will always catch up with you. I know this first hand. We can’t do the opposite of what God wants then pray for His blessings. There are many examples of this such as the Children of Israel. God was patient with and He would take them back with open arms but because they constantly chose sin and rebellion of Gods laws and precepts, eventually, they came to the place where the presence of God was no longer among them. The glory of God had departed and this is why they were defeated during wars.

God will not tolerate habitual sinning under any circumstances, so just because the process is long doesn’t mean you just give in. This is why we need Jesus to come and cleanse us from our deliberate and secret sins and old mind-set (see Psalm 19:12-14). Yes we are human and we all know from experience (I know I do) that we have our weaknesses, which is why we must seek God for strength because it’s a process whereby we need to learn and realise we can’t do it without him. I know in many cases I have cried especially when going through something hard that if only it would just go away with one prayer and that’s it, struggle done, or I have felt like if I was somewhere else then my life could be different.However, God allows us to have these struggles so we can only rely on His grace for strength (2 Corinthians 12:5-11).  It is through experiencing hardships or when I would rather be elsewhere doing something else that I really realise that without God it’s impossible.

 I have had to really wake up to this because it can be easy to think that because I’m living for God and I’m trying, I’m not gonna have any issues. This is far from the truth. I believe this is something which is often overlooked in our church today and we fail to really tell and to testify to people that this walk is not easy. Problems are a guarantee because it’s the package that comes with being in a sinful and fallen world however, victory is promised and GUARANTEED through Jesus. That is why Paul says he rejoices in persecutions and areas of weakness, because we can use it to our advantage. If we didn’t have any issues, we wouldn't see our need for Jesus. Our shortcomings teach us to be more reliable in Christ, they force us to have to pray and read our bible more and apply it.  

This Christian walk is a journey and process of character refinement and some things will  not happen overnight which is where I had got it wrong especially when I would beat myself up about not being where I wanted to be or not getting over something quick enough. I wanted discipline without the devotion and experience with God. I sometimes still do. However, without Christ, I cannot make core changes that will last and that requires an everyday sacrifice and devotion to God every second. I’m learning that it is through my devotion to Christ that I am able to be disciplined.

God wants a devoted people who are willing to change and let go of their sins. God wants a people committed to him as well as to the PROCESS of sanctification in order to be impactful to our communities and lead others to Christ too, so they can see and experience the great work He did and IS doing.

If I am going through this process I know someone else is too and I want to encourage you along with me to not allow our struggles to become our identity. Lets together trust God in this journey we are on, even when its stagnant or super hard.

No sin or problem or place in life outweighs grace and no stronghold is greater than the Holy Spirit. Nothing can separate us from the love of God that was in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:35-39).  Don’t give up because of some mistakes or shortcomings, just decide to choose God each time. He will not cast away His work which He has started in you. It’s not in Gods character to turn away a repentant sinner, “He is not a man that He should lie…” so don’t run away from Him (Numbers 23:19)

I know that although my old habits are not leaving immediately, in Jesus name I will kill those old habits daily as God molds me into His image. I am free, in Jesus name! I am loved, accepted, and forgiven by the mercy and grace of God! Let’s allow ourselves to go through the process and learn especially in the toughest periods of life when we feel like nothing is happening or changing to let God do His greatest work on us.

Old habits die hard, at times I’m beaten but I’m always victorious through Jesus. Im on a journey and I'm making it!

Love Rejoicexox