How uncertainty leads us to depend on God

I will be the first to admit that I have my days when I struggle to know what my future looks like.  I hate the unknown especially when I really hope and want a certain outcome to happen. I often get plagued by my insecurities or fears of scenarios that could happen and I feel like I’m so out of control which I absolutely hate. (Today and yesterday has been one of those days, so I decided to write what I’ve learned from this during my quiet time with the lord. )

Because of the society we live in ( well for me anyway), we are accustomed to wanting answers to every detail of our lives. We are desperate about wanting to know what the next step in life should be. Should I pursue higher education? What career should I pursue? Should I buy a new home, maybe I should get a new job? When is the right time to have children? Am I ready for ministry?

For example in a dating, we are prone to try and seize control of the situation. Affection and vulnerability with a lack of covenantal commitment is a tension that can end in either in a breakup or marriage. The stakes are high on both sides, and the pressure and fear that accompanies those stakes very likely will not be resolved in the dating process. So comes the unknown question of will I marry this person that im dating etc... In addition, there are difficulties such as sickness, finances, loss of a job, insecurity, and doubt about our purpose.

I’m not saying we should not want good things or aim high but I believe that with wanting to succeed to better you trusting God is essential. However, what I am talking about is how do I trust God when I need an answer or am praying for something specific and I don’t have it?

Being uncertain about an unknown circumstance or outcome does not make you less of a believer but God revealed to me that it’s a catalyst to sharpen my faith, and moreover my dependency  and trust in Him and not in my situation and the results of it, but rather the one who is in control. I need to reach to God and trust He will lead me in every season of your life. God revealed that my faith is rooted in my wants and not in Him to meet every one of my desires and want in a way He sees fit for my life. God reminded me that no one or want should replace Him above all nor can it be a substitute for Him.

“4You shall not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens above, the earth below, or the waters under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…” Exodus 20:5

So in saying that there are some things I want to share with you.

You can’t depend on what you see or your own strength.

I have made the mistake of thinking that I had to have everything under control. Perhaps, like me you have been hurt before and at times find it hard trusting people. King Solomon was someone who realised that trusting God above all things should be fundamental. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” other versions read “depend” on your own understanding or your own strength. It emphasizes to “TRUST IN THE LORD with all of your heart.” God wants to reveal himself to you on a deeper level, especially in those shaky situations of your life, to make you realise that He is constant and ever-changing but you must learn to surrender it to God. 

King Solomon also states to trust the Lord “with all of our heart.” Now, this also stands out! He did not say, “Trust the Lord with your entire mind,” because if it were that way an individual can know that they should trust, but not truly live by it which is completely different. To trust with “all of our heart,” means to live out a trust rooted in the Lord. This should be reflected in our actions. This means acting according to His promises when thoughts of doubt come you divert them back to the Lord “…demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Thoughts to Be Trained—the thoughts must be trained. Gird up the loins of the mind that it shall work in the right direction and after the order of well-formed plans; then every step is one in advance, and no effort or time is lost in following vague ideas and random plans. We must consider the aim and object of life, and ever keep worthy purposes in view. Every day the thoughts should be trained and kept to the point as the compass to the pole. Everyone should have his aims and purposes, and then make every thought and action of that character to accomplish that which he purposes. The thoughts must be controlled. There must be a fixedness of purpose to carry out that which you shall undertake.—Letter 33, 1886. (Our High Calling, 112.)

1. Seek God

 I’ve found that my most precious moments in life have been in God’s presence, as I am on my knees, crying out with all of my heart and soul. Those are the moments that we find full rest in God. In 1 Chronicles 16:11 tells us  to, “Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.” Seeking God continually means to search for God not just in our time of need or when we have plenty, but at all times! As you are driving, making decisions at work, conversing with others, making plans, or figuring out the next chapter of our life, seek God! In moments of frustration, loneliness, and desperation, seek God! Even if you are loss for words, don’t know how to approach God because the hurt is tearing you down,  Talk to Him. Even if you are resettling, you keep praying but you feel that God is not near. Seek God still!

2. Put God first

The moment we put God first, God acts on our behalf. God loves us so much and because he loves, he knows what is best for our life. He cares for our needs; he knows what is beneficial and what brings destruction.

I’m learning that God wants me to be governed by faith. My future as well as my needs is certain to God. He has all the foreknowledge, power, resources, and desire to turn everything for good for those who love Him and are called by Him (Romans 8:28).Uncertain seasons have been the most powerful God-moments I have experienced. Those moments show me that God exists and I can’t walk by sight. These seasons truly reveal my heart and what I have placed my hope in (Hebrews 11:6).

So if you are in one of those seasons, take heart. One of my favourite song lyrics by singer Tori Kelly says:

“Teach me how to love You

Show me how to trust You

More than with my words or with a song

No, it's not been easy

To live life down on my knees

But with faith I know I'll carry on

“There is more to see than with my eyes

But fear sometimes can leave me paralyzed

I realize that I'm not in control

Yet it is well with my soul”

I will trust in God, as I walk He WILL direct my paths.

He likes me, He likes me NOT ?.. the deal with situationships and relationships.

So, it’s Valentine’s day and this time of year the topic of dating, and breakups, engagement, and marriage is more eminent. But today I want to address a whole new category of relationships that I think we forget about sometimes — a category of relationships that are harder and more confusing than maybe any other.  SITUATIONSHIPS.

This I would describe as the in-between relationships, friends but always a little more, sort of dating, but not quite, liking each other but never actually pursuing anything, together but without a title. The question of what are we always looms over your shoulder, if they do something you don’t like, you don’t really have any right to be mad. They’re fun but confusing, FULL of emotion, totally lacking clarification, and they can be stressful and very time-consuming. You both might say “you’re not ready for a relationship” yet you clearly want to be with him “you’re going with the flow and seeing how things go”. Trust me, of these I know too well.

As females, we tend to overanalyse almost everything. Our brains go into overdrive, trying to work out whether the guy we are interested in REALLY likes us and if we would work out, then we also think about why we are overthinking things and how we probably shouldn’t be in a relationship anyway. These types of thoughts and relationships whether you like it or not also seeps into your relationship with God, so instead of it being about HIM, it’s now about him. Now you’re distracted, your prayers are very emotion-led versus spirit-led. You might even ask God to show you whether this is the right guy or not and what He thinks of the relationship, and sure enough He gives you the signs and reasons and your gut feeling is also telling you NO! But alas, you go ahead and pursue the relationship anyway, plunging into low self-esteem wondering why you’re not enough to be in a relationship with. Your prayer time is consumed with prayers about the guy, you’re not really focused on things above or how God feels. Over time your prayers become more and more selfish and even worse maybe they come to a halt altogether because of this mess.

Now this is a topic I could go on and on about from personal experience and from stories of friends and observations. Today however, I just wanna drop some knowledge that if I could go back and give myself or someone else advice I would say. One thing I would most definitely say is that “Girl, he is NOT worth it!!!”

I know how much you care for this guy, how often you pray for him, how badly you want things to work out and it would be AWESOME if he’d make his intentions known and make the plunge. You’re probably asking yourself if he doesn’t like me then why is he flirting, or treating me like his girl? You’ve probably prayed for God to remove any feelings for him but they are still there so now you’re wondering if it means it’s okay? Then you also have your friends and other outsiders telling you how great and perfect you guys would be together.

I know you’re probably feeling and playing detective trying to put pieces together and you’re in a never-ending que just waiting. It’s all just complicated.

 Now coming from someone free from such nonsense (because that’s exactly what it is), don’t give your emotions away until its truly asked for in honest and open pursuit and unless he shows you how he feels and commits to that. Don’t fall in the trap of mixed messages. If the relationship is going to happen there is a point when the guy has to make his intentions clear and come through. Until then keep yourself to yourself. This can be super hard because as females, we are such lovers and we want to care and connect with others. As amazing of a trait this is, it can land us in trouble when we become invested in the wrong person and at the wrong time. You probably have so much hope that he is going get it together and recognise the QUEEN you are especially because you’re putting so much in. But unless he tells you how much he likes you and asks for the commitment and you get the go ahead from God. He has no place in your heart.

Please, I beg of you to let it go and start to appreciate the One who has done it ALL for you. He loved you since the beginning of time, had a plan for you to prosper you, He was and is STILL intentional about you and He SHOWED it through the plan of salvation. Don’t forget that right now you have the most amazing man after your heart. “For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” (Isaiah 54:5) BEFORE you were in the womb He knew you (Jeremiah 1:5).He has written your name on his hand with blood shed on the cross from borrowed nails (Isaiah 49:15-16).In that moment when you’re feeling LONELY and really want a special text or just some human company that’s NOT your friends ,He wants to fill you up so you will never thirst again; “He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” (Isaiah 58:11). Don’t settle for anything from a guy when God has promised to give EVERYTHING you need in Jesus. He is not a man that He should lie for everything He has said has come through! You will not be disappointed but instead MIND-BLOWN by such an indescribable love that is not based on emotions or situations but just because He loves you, wants you and THE BEST FOR YOU. 

A Godly woman fears the lord, she lives her life for THE KING before she lives for a king. She loves the Lord and does everything for His glory and purpose. If you’re crazy about a guy who is flaky and probably not the right one imagine when it is the right one approved by God himself and you will have peace about it. Your future guy who is of GOD is out there depending on you NOT to settle and waste time creating unnecessary baggage before God allows you to be together. Let it Go, don’t forfeit your future on a situationship, on something not beneficial for you.

It’s not easy, especially when you’re in the moment, when feelings are running so strong and you have made a form of bond with the guy. But girl, you really deserve nothing less. Neither you or the guy will benefit in this situation as both of you will be left confused, tied up and emotional about the thing. As much as it is a learning experience, it takes away time from God and being focused on heaven and your earthly goals.

I’m praying for you right now — for the desire to let the situationship go and for you to crave God instead. I’m also praying for you to have strength, and wisdom, and clarity. There is nothing easy about this situation, but God’s in it with you and when He responds LISTEN THEN MOVE. The lesson of disobedience will be even worse to bear.
stay tuned for part 2

Love Rejoicexox.