He likes me, He likes me NOT ?.. the deal with situationships and relationships.

So, it’s Valentine’s day and this time of year the topic of dating, and breakups, engagement, and marriage is more eminent. But today I want to address a whole new category of relationships that I think we forget about sometimes — a category of relationships that are harder and more confusing than maybe any other.  SITUATIONSHIPS.

This I would describe as the in-between relationships, friends but always a little more, sort of dating, but not quite, liking each other but never actually pursuing anything, together but without a title. The question of what are we always looms over your shoulder, if they do something you don’t like, you don’t really have any right to be mad. They’re fun but confusing, FULL of emotion, totally lacking clarification, and they can be stressful and very time-consuming. You both might say “you’re not ready for a relationship” yet you clearly want to be with him “you’re going with the flow and seeing how things go”. Trust me, of these I know too well.

As females, we tend to overanalyse almost everything. Our brains go into overdrive, trying to work out whether the guy we are interested in REALLY likes us and if we would work out, then we also think about why we are overthinking things and how we probably shouldn’t be in a relationship anyway. These types of thoughts and relationships whether you like it or not also seeps into your relationship with God, so instead of it being about HIM, it’s now about him. Now you’re distracted, your prayers are very emotion-led versus spirit-led. You might even ask God to show you whether this is the right guy or not and what He thinks of the relationship, and sure enough He gives you the signs and reasons and your gut feeling is also telling you NO! But alas, you go ahead and pursue the relationship anyway, plunging into low self-esteem wondering why you’re not enough to be in a relationship with. Your prayer time is consumed with prayers about the guy, you’re not really focused on things above or how God feels. Over time your prayers become more and more selfish and even worse maybe they come to a halt altogether because of this mess.

Now this is a topic I could go on and on about from personal experience and from stories of friends and observations. Today however, I just wanna drop some knowledge that if I could go back and give myself or someone else advice I would say. One thing I would most definitely say is that “Girl, he is NOT worth it!!!”

I know how much you care for this guy, how often you pray for him, how badly you want things to work out and it would be AWESOME if he’d make his intentions known and make the plunge. You’re probably asking yourself if he doesn’t like me then why is he flirting, or treating me like his girl? You’ve probably prayed for God to remove any feelings for him but they are still there so now you’re wondering if it means it’s okay? Then you also have your friends and other outsiders telling you how great and perfect you guys would be together.

I know you’re probably feeling and playing detective trying to put pieces together and you’re in a never-ending que just waiting. It’s all just complicated.

 Now coming from someone free from such nonsense (because that’s exactly what it is), don’t give your emotions away until its truly asked for in honest and open pursuit and unless he shows you how he feels and commits to that. Don’t fall in the trap of mixed messages. If the relationship is going to happen there is a point when the guy has to make his intentions clear and come through. Until then keep yourself to yourself. This can be super hard because as females, we are such lovers and we want to care and connect with others. As amazing of a trait this is, it can land us in trouble when we become invested in the wrong person and at the wrong time. You probably have so much hope that he is going get it together and recognise the QUEEN you are especially because you’re putting so much in. But unless he tells you how much he likes you and asks for the commitment and you get the go ahead from God. He has no place in your heart.

Please, I beg of you to let it go and start to appreciate the One who has done it ALL for you. He loved you since the beginning of time, had a plan for you to prosper you, He was and is STILL intentional about you and He SHOWED it through the plan of salvation. Don’t forget that right now you have the most amazing man after your heart. “For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” (Isaiah 54:5) BEFORE you were in the womb He knew you (Jeremiah 1:5).He has written your name on his hand with blood shed on the cross from borrowed nails (Isaiah 49:15-16).In that moment when you’re feeling LONELY and really want a special text or just some human company that’s NOT your friends ,He wants to fill you up so you will never thirst again; “He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” (Isaiah 58:11). Don’t settle for anything from a guy when God has promised to give EVERYTHING you need in Jesus. He is not a man that He should lie for everything He has said has come through! You will not be disappointed but instead MIND-BLOWN by such an indescribable love that is not based on emotions or situations but just because He loves you, wants you and THE BEST FOR YOU. 

A Godly woman fears the lord, she lives her life for THE KING before she lives for a king. She loves the Lord and does everything for His glory and purpose. If you’re crazy about a guy who is flaky and probably not the right one imagine when it is the right one approved by God himself and you will have peace about it. Your future guy who is of GOD is out there depending on you NOT to settle and waste time creating unnecessary baggage before God allows you to be together. Let it Go, don’t forfeit your future on a situationship, on something not beneficial for you.

It’s not easy, especially when you’re in the moment, when feelings are running so strong and you have made a form of bond with the guy. But girl, you really deserve nothing less. Neither you or the guy will benefit in this situation as both of you will be left confused, tied up and emotional about the thing. As much as it is a learning experience, it takes away time from God and being focused on heaven and your earthly goals.

I’m praying for you right now — for the desire to let the situationship go and for you to crave God instead. I’m also praying for you to have strength, and wisdom, and clarity. There is nothing easy about this situation, but God’s in it with you and when He responds LISTEN THEN MOVE. The lesson of disobedience will be even worse to bear.
stay tuned for part 2

Love Rejoicexox.