The lead up to this all started during my final year of university. I really had to start deciding what it is I wanted to do after graduation and what exact career path I wanted to follow and I had mixed feelings of anxiety, excitement but confusion too. Have you ever noticed how much of life’s transitional periods are labeled with anxious vibes? The time you start school for the first time, starting a new job, Mid-Life Crisis, cold feet before marriage, empty-nest syndrome and retirement are just a few examples of transitional times in our lives when people tend to panic about change.
Throughout my whole time at university, I was blasted with a constant plethora of clichés. “Enjoy your time at university while it lasts, make the most of being a student, university will be the best time of your life.” All those statements have so far proven to be true to some extent and when I was done I didn’t know what to do with myself or know what my life was supposed to be after that… and TBH I still don’t know!
For the last 20 something years of my life, I’ve gone from being told what to do, where to go and for how long, to then being independent to make my own choices and decisions of what and when I want to do something and how. I’ve always had a clear-cut idea and plan of what and when I wanted to do something.
But what happens after university I thought? How do I deal with the major life-changing transition from education into the workplace? Or how do I cope with these overwhelming emotions of emptiness and lack of direction, that followed after I had thrown my cap into the air?
During the course of my studies I lived very far from home and afterward, I was expecting to start work in the same city which ended up falling through and then I had to prepare to move back home. Trading my full-blown independence, power, and responsibility, for moving back seemed like an unnatural step backwards of nothing but failure, all that I had planned for was not going according to plan.
My parents were so proud of me and very supportive and encouraging throughout. They assured me to be led by God apply and wait on God but that I had to RELAX! I Had been in the education system for so long that there was nothing wrong with a break and just for me to enjoy my summer and my time off until God said it as time. This was fine and I started to accept that however alongside my own uncertainties was the voices of so-called “aunties and Uncles” (not family members) who had so much to say about what I was NOT doing because I wasn’t working (even though I was looking for work) they behaved as if they were there throughout my journey praying and encouraging me and knew what was going on in my life, but yet had plenty to say about nothing which they knew nothing of smh.
When it came to actually applying and choosing the jobs I wanted to do, I hadn't quite prepared myself as much as I had done in my head. I applied for job after job and even got offered one in York that I declined. I went to many interviews and I was feeling good that I'd got to these stages. But they all fell through for one reason or another. It isn't as easy to shake off bad interviews as it is to shake off a not so great mark - on an assignment. In university, you know you have more chances; in the real world, you'll feel like you don't always have that guarantee. Plus, life gets more expensive when you leave uni and lose all those nice shiny discounts.
Although I knew God would take care of me I was scared. There’s a common misconception that university is just a never-ending three-year party, in fact, the party does end, and there is not enough being done or told to help with the clearing up afterwards. Shame on all my friends who had graduated way before me for not telling me this until wayyy after tsk lol.
Needless to say, all these changes left me not only feeling lost but I had EXTREME sadness! my mind would get plagued with negative thoughts, I cried, at times I felt like I had no purpose, I had an abnormally negative perspective which was not like me, lack of direction, decreased motivation to get out of bed and do what I enjoyed such as working out or writing, a general sense of hopelessness which at times I felt drawn to stay there.
I knew God would see me through but He felt distant, I would listen to sermons, study my bible which would give me a glimmer of hope but it felt hard to break through and I wasn’t getting any revelations. I still felt alone, scared and lost. My own idea of what my life was supposed to be like cooked with my fears had me wondering what on earth God was doing with my life! I said God if you brought me here why Is it not working out! Lord WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I felt like I was drowning I seriously was not expecting to be tested like this, after all, I had given up and renewed and served God whilst I was at uni. I honestly felt like Elijah throughout this whole ordeal in 1 Kings 17-19. Although Elijah was bold and decisive for the Lord and had his prosperous moments, in chapter 19, we find Elijah fearful, running scared, exhausted, depressed, and wanting to die. Like Elijah I felt like I did “right” and therefore I should get what I want and needed from God. But as I look back this story it really reveals that for everything there is a season and I CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHERS.
We have our good days but also at times our faith is put to the test and we need to recover and rest in order to hear instructions from that “still small voice” from God rather than just getting what we want. I’ll be honest during this season it’s easy to get back to what is comfortable and to have an outlet or even feeling sorry for yourself especially on social media too when everyone is stunting and you feel left out. But press on and just CHILL OUT! As I read on chapter 19 because Elijah was feeling exhausted he rested and an Angel sent him food because If he didn’t eat the journey would have been overwhelming for him. This really resonated with me because I felt pressure to be “on” all the time and have it together and to be NEVER weak, as these new graduate opportunities should have been flying my way but it was not to be the case. When I look back at the trail of events leading to this moment I’m thankful and honestly believe it’s because I had begun to trust more in myself and had placed my hope in things and events rather than God all by Himself. I was starting to think “if I was here, If God would give me this, and God if this happened I would be happy and everything would be perfect” but really, I needed God to show me my heart and make me over which He really is doing and its PAINFUL at times because I’m really having to renew my mind and let go of my own understanding to develop faith even MORE in the unseen and unknown.
As I was spending time with God I was listening to this sermon and the preacher said, God wants you to be fruitful. He wants us to bear His fruits of the Spirit. It’s not only our faithfulness and our works that matters but God is concerned with our characters and refining to be able to last from now to eternity. I then came across
James 1:2-5 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
It then really dawned on me that I seriously needed to change my perspective and not fight this season BUT LET GO AND LET GOD LEAD and OPEN DOORS. It then hit me that maybe what I wanted I did not have the strength and ability to let go and I needed cultivation. God wants my fruitfulness and once I got this in my head and really accepted this, God then opened a door for me and IM NOW EMPLOYED with an amazing job! And even had to turn down 2. It really got me thinking because how often do we pursue things we are not ready to handle and apply for things out of impatience and desperation and that throws us off track? How many of us are gardens without gardeners and now we can’t be kept adequately because we didn’t allow God to tend to us? The devil will rush you to make rash decisions outside the will of God and have you feel like you're missing out. Don't fall for his tricks. Your value is not in what you're doing but Who you are and what Christ says you are.
If you’re a new graduate or are in a silent season I would really encourage you to just rest and chill because God will always take care of what’s His and He will open doors with no problems for “The blessing of the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.” Proverbs 10:22. You don’t know what’s ahead and what you need to prepare for so literally ask God and He will guide you and bring you wise counsel and you have the rest of your life to work trust me! IM ALREADY TIRED HAHA. I’m not by any means what I ought to be and I don't know a whole lot but if God can reveal himself to me, He can to you too. I know that Life after graduation can have some major effects on your mental health because it did to me and If that’s your case I would also encourage you to not fight change – I'm still adjusting myself and I'm learning that change is ok. Life changes are usually out of our control. Of course, some initial resistance is natural, but it is really important to allow yourself some time to initially freak out. But then, positively breakdown the positives.You’re a blank canvas and God is your painter. You’re not alone, you have God and friends and Family. Oh and me of course hahaha.
1.Talk to your fellow graduates and family.
it can be really daunting to have so much pressure piled onto you, especially if you don’t know what your next move is. Talking to your careers advisors before you graduate can open up some possibilities for yourself and your career. I also had amazing friends who really kept me accountable by checking on me generally and to ensure I was working on goals I had set to achieve prior to graduation, they really kept me in prayer and encouraged me.
2. Wait for the right job, rather than the first job.
Try not to be in such a desperate rush that you take a job just because it was the first one that came your way. Take your time with the important things in life – no job, relationship or experience should be hastily embarked upon due to fear of life passing you by.
3. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
Do not envy and congratulate your friends when they deserve it. As hard as it is to stomach at this point in, accept that everybody is different and God has a path different for them
4. Work out
When you look Good you feel good and you have the TIME to get fit! It improves your mood too.
5. Embrace the fact that you don’t have to go to work every day.
The opportunities to sleep in were bliss at University! work life is not like that so enjoy it.
11. Remind yourself that this stage is just a stage, and it too shall pass.
You may be disappointed, and your will and your way may be denied, but be assured that the Lord loves you, I know It’s hard to have a nice day when you wake up to an email saying, you didn’t get the job. But remember how things always work out in the end and one day you will be the one with the experience landing the job.
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