How uncertainty leads us to depend on God

I will be the first to admit that I have my days when I struggle to know what my future looks like.  I hate the unknown especially when I really hope and want a certain outcome to happen. I often get plagued by my insecurities or fears of scenarios that could happen and I feel like I’m so out of control which I absolutely hate. (Today and yesterday has been one of those days, so I decided to write what I’ve learned from this during my quiet time with the lord. )

Because of the society we live in ( well for me anyway), we are accustomed to wanting answers to every detail of our lives. We are desperate about wanting to know what the next step in life should be. Should I pursue higher education? What career should I pursue? Should I buy a new home, maybe I should get a new job? When is the right time to have children? Am I ready for ministry?

For example in a dating, we are prone to try and seize control of the situation. Affection and vulnerability with a lack of covenantal commitment is a tension that can end in either in a breakup or marriage. The stakes are high on both sides, and the pressure and fear that accompanies those stakes very likely will not be resolved in the dating process. So comes the unknown question of will I marry this person that im dating etc... In addition, there are difficulties such as sickness, finances, loss of a job, insecurity, and doubt about our purpose.

I’m not saying we should not want good things or aim high but I believe that with wanting to succeed to better you trusting God is essential. However, what I am talking about is how do I trust God when I need an answer or am praying for something specific and I don’t have it?

Being uncertain about an unknown circumstance or outcome does not make you less of a believer but God revealed to me that it’s a catalyst to sharpen my faith, and moreover my dependency  and trust in Him and not in my situation and the results of it, but rather the one who is in control. I need to reach to God and trust He will lead me in every season of your life. God revealed that my faith is rooted in my wants and not in Him to meet every one of my desires and want in a way He sees fit for my life. God reminded me that no one or want should replace Him above all nor can it be a substitute for Him.

“4You shall not make for yourself an idol of any kind, or an image of anything in the heavens above, the earth below, or the waters under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…” Exodus 20:5

So in saying that there are some things I want to share with you.

You can’t depend on what you see or your own strength.

I have made the mistake of thinking that I had to have everything under control. Perhaps, like me you have been hurt before and at times find it hard trusting people. King Solomon was someone who realised that trusting God above all things should be fundamental. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” other versions read “depend” on your own understanding or your own strength. It emphasizes to “TRUST IN THE LORD with all of your heart.” God wants to reveal himself to you on a deeper level, especially in those shaky situations of your life, to make you realise that He is constant and ever-changing but you must learn to surrender it to God. 

King Solomon also states to trust the Lord “with all of our heart.” Now, this also stands out! He did not say, “Trust the Lord with your entire mind,” because if it were that way an individual can know that they should trust, but not truly live by it which is completely different. To trust with “all of our heart,” means to live out a trust rooted in the Lord. This should be reflected in our actions. This means acting according to His promises when thoughts of doubt come you divert them back to the Lord “…demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Thoughts to Be Trained—the thoughts must be trained. Gird up the loins of the mind that it shall work in the right direction and after the order of well-formed plans; then every step is one in advance, and no effort or time is lost in following vague ideas and random plans. We must consider the aim and object of life, and ever keep worthy purposes in view. Every day the thoughts should be trained and kept to the point as the compass to the pole. Everyone should have his aims and purposes, and then make every thought and action of that character to accomplish that which he purposes. The thoughts must be controlled. There must be a fixedness of purpose to carry out that which you shall undertake.—Letter 33, 1886. (Our High Calling, 112.)

1. Seek God

 I’ve found that my most precious moments in life have been in God’s presence, as I am on my knees, crying out with all of my heart and soul. Those are the moments that we find full rest in God. In 1 Chronicles 16:11 tells us  to, “Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually.” Seeking God continually means to search for God not just in our time of need or when we have plenty, but at all times! As you are driving, making decisions at work, conversing with others, making plans, or figuring out the next chapter of our life, seek God! In moments of frustration, loneliness, and desperation, seek God! Even if you are loss for words, don’t know how to approach God because the hurt is tearing you down,  Talk to Him. Even if you are resettling, you keep praying but you feel that God is not near. Seek God still!

2. Put God first

The moment we put God first, God acts on our behalf. God loves us so much and because he loves, he knows what is best for our life. He cares for our needs; he knows what is beneficial and what brings destruction.

I’m learning that God wants me to be governed by faith. My future as well as my needs is certain to God. He has all the foreknowledge, power, resources, and desire to turn everything for good for those who love Him and are called by Him (Romans 8:28).Uncertain seasons have been the most powerful God-moments I have experienced. Those moments show me that God exists and I can’t walk by sight. These seasons truly reveal my heart and what I have placed my hope in (Hebrews 11:6).

So if you are in one of those seasons, take heart. One of my favourite song lyrics by singer Tori Kelly says:

“Teach me how to love You

Show me how to trust You

More than with my words or with a song

No, it's not been easy

To live life down on my knees

But with faith I know I'll carry on

“There is more to see than with my eyes

But fear sometimes can leave me paralyzed

I realize that I'm not in control

Yet it is well with my soul”

I will trust in God, as I walk He WILL direct my paths.

How to win the war for time with God !

HEYY Guys !!

So I have been super MIA For the past however long…. Some of it has simply been down to me being lazy as well as struggling to find inspiration to do this. Lately One thing that has been evident in my absence is the reality of spiritual warfare and the battle for having set apart bible study time l time which I have gathered from talking to numerous people is a never-ending struggle for many of us, one that we often lose. I know I do. Our attention is under attack for vain things and for the personal-approval desires that lure us online. So how do we preserve our time? 

As soon as you wake, there is a war to keep you from the word of God. I feel like this is a daily, constant war for me. When I got a full-time job, the war got even harder.  That’s not to say in school it’s not hard. But I feel like I had more meaningful distractions. You know my assignments, the netball team and plenty of undictated free time to do as I pleased.

I woke up when I had classes and appointments but apart from that I woke up when wanted to wake up. I could spend time with the word for an hour if I chose to. Now, if I want to spend uninterrupted time with God, I either need to wake up at 5am latest or schedule it in after work.

So, I think the war is, Do I make time for God, or do I try to fit God into the time that I feel like I already don’t have? When I wake up, it’s a daily decision. Ultimately the question on the line is how much do I love God?

Now they are many ways which I have found to be helpful to get my time with God in. I think we often including myself we fall into the trap that spending time with God has to be ridged in one spot. I used to beat myself up if my quiet time with God was not structured properly in my head. Then after starting work I realised to make use of all the time I have and that even means having my devotions on the bus on my phone or with my little notebook or when I’m washing the dishes or tending to my patients at work, God is still with me. I might not have the time to write out everything but I can meditate on scripture whilst on my phone or on the computer at work.

One thing I also realised is that I haven’t been properly resting in the lord. God gave us the seventh day Sabbath to rest in him and to study His ways but God showed me myself and I realised many a times I’ve been in church and realised not only did I not welcome the Sabbath properly but at times I’ve sat in church and my heart was on social media or completely distracted by what I have to do the next day when I could be having quality bible study just me and God. I’m someone who loves bible study with a passion and I was often getting upset that I couldn’t do that every day. I remember telling my friend this and she was like “err girl you have plenty of time on Friday evening and on Sabbath to get some quality time with God”. Which Is ever so true. Because let’s face it unless you have more flexible working hours in-depth bible study can be hard to do everyday but you can set apart a day or 2 in the week to do so.

I’ve realised that I’m drawn to whatever I desire and If I’m not delighting in the word of God, then most likely I’m not delighting in God himself. I think that’s ultimately what is at stake — my affections.

Psalm 37:4-6 English Standard Version (ESV)⁴ Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him, and he will act.
    and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him, and he will act.

James 4:8 English Standard Version (ESV)⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
  

What are my affections in, and what am I double minded about? If my affections are in my sleep, then I’m going to treasure sleep over the word. If my affections are on Instagram and spend over an hour on there then the proof is I have time I just don’t have the desire and I need to ask God to help me to desire Him and seek Him with all my mind.

I think identifying what really is my joy is helpful. Is it God? Is it my stuff? Is it my peace — or what I think is peace, because I’m able to sit up and watch something online when I could be reading my bible? 

Although these things are great opportunities what’s ultimately at risk 
is me and God being good.

Staying connected to God is key!! Life easily gets in the way and bang I’m distracted. But I notice the change immediately in my spirit and peace of mind when I’m not connected to God. For me, this is vital so the old me doesn’t creep back in because she is not as patient as the new me lol but once you see it happening I want to encourage you to tune off the YouTube, the Instagram, the Facebook and the phone-calls and texts and talk to God. The vision will be clear again.

Just a few tips

1.    Pray for the desire to spend time with God

2.   Realise you can spend time with God anywhere, even on public transport!!

3.   Observe the Sabbath. Use that time for personal time with God and switch off all the distractions. That way you can also focus on being a blessing and being blessed in the presence of God with other believers.

4.   Don’t beat yourself up, once you see the need for God make some changes. God will help your efforts. 😊

DOWN AND FEELING DEPRESSED AFTER GRADUATING- my experience

The lead up to this all started during my final year of university. I really had to start deciding what it is I wanted to do after graduation and what exact career path I wanted to follow and I had mixed feelings of anxiety, excitement but confusion too. Have you ever noticed how much of life’s transitional periods are labeled with anxious vibes? The time you start school for the first time, starting a new job, Mid-Life Crisis, cold feet before marriage, empty-nest syndrome and retirement are just a few examples of transitional times in our lives when people tend to panic about change.

Throughout my whole time at university, I was blasted with a constant plethora of clichés. “Enjoy your time at university while it lasts, make the most of being a student, university will be the best time of your life.” All those statements have so far proven to be true to some extent and when I was done I didn’t know what to do with myself or know what my life was supposed to be after that… and TBH I still don’t know!

For the last 20 something years of my life, I’ve gone from being told what to do, where to go and for how long, to then being independent to make my own choices and decisions of what and when I want to do something and how. I’ve always had a clear-cut idea and plan of what and when I wanted to do something.

But what happens after university I thought? How do I deal with the major life-changing transition from education into the workplace? Or how do I cope with these overwhelming emotions of emptiness and lack of direction, that followed after I had thrown my cap into the air?

During the course of my studies I lived very far from home and afterward, I was expecting to start work in the same city which ended up falling through and then I had to prepare to move back home. Trading my full-blown independence, power, and responsibility, for moving back seemed like an unnatural step backwards of nothing but failure, all that I had planned for was not going according to plan.

My parents were so proud of me and very supportive and encouraging throughout. They assured me to be led by God apply and wait on God but that I had to RELAX! I Had been in the education system for so long that there was nothing wrong with a break and just for me to enjoy my summer and my time off until God said it as time. This was fine and I started to accept that however alongside my own uncertainties was the voices of so-called “aunties and Uncles” (not family members) who had so much to say about what I was NOT doing because I wasn’t working (even though I was looking for work) they behaved as if they were there throughout my journey praying and encouraging me and knew what was going on in my life, but yet had plenty to say about nothing which they knew nothing of smh.

When it came to actually applying and choosing the jobs I wanted to do, I hadn't quite prepared myself as much as I had done in my head. I applied for job after job and even got offered one in York that I declined. I went to many interviews and I was feeling good that I'd got to these stages. But they all fell through for one reason or another. It isn't as easy to shake off bad interviews as it is to shake off a not so great mark - on an assignment. In university, you know you have more chances; in the real world, you'll feel like you don't always have that guarantee. Plus, life gets more expensive when you leave uni and lose all those nice shiny discounts.

Although I knew God would take care of me I was scared.  There’s a common misconception that university is just a never-ending three-year party, in fact, the party does end, and there is not enough being done or told to help with the clearing up afterwards. Shame on all my friends who had graduated way before me for not telling me this until wayyy after tsk lol.

Needless to say, all these changes left me not only feeling lost but I had EXTREME sadness! my mind would get plagued with negative thoughts, I cried, at times I felt like I had no purpose, I had an abnormally negative perspective which was not like me, lack of direction, decreased motivation to get out of bed and do what I enjoyed such as working out or writing, a general sense of hopelessness which at times I felt drawn to stay there.

I knew God would see me through but He felt distant, I would listen to sermons, study my bible which would give me a glimmer of hope but it felt hard to break through and I wasn’t getting any revelations. I still felt alone, scared and lost. My own idea of what my life was supposed to be like cooked with my fears had me wondering what on earth God was doing with my life! I said God if you brought me here why Is it not working out! Lord WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I felt like I was drowning I seriously was not expecting to be tested like this, after all, I had given up and renewed and served God whilst I was at uni. I honestly felt like Elijah throughout this whole ordeal in 1 Kings 17-19. Although Elijah was bold and decisive for the Lord and had his prosperous moments, in chapter 19, we find Elijah fearful, running scared, exhausted, depressed, and wanting to die. Like Elijah I felt like I did “right” and therefore I should get what I want and needed from God. But as I look back this story it really reveals that for everything there is a season and I CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHERS. 

We have our good days but also at times our faith is put to the test and we need to recover and rest in order to hear instructions from that “still small voice” from God rather than just getting what we want.  I’ll be honest during this season it’s easy to get back to what is comfortable and to have an outlet or even feeling sorry for yourself especially on social media too when everyone is stunting and you feel left out. But press on and just CHILL OUT! As I read on chapter 19 because Elijah was feeling exhausted he rested and an Angel sent him food because If he didn’t eat the journey would have been overwhelming for him. This really resonated with me because I felt pressure to be “on” all the time and have it together and to be NEVER weak, as these new graduate opportunities should have been flying my way but it was not to be the case. When I look back at the trail of events leading to this moment I’m thankful and honestly believe it’s because I had begun to trust more in myself and had placed my hope in things and events rather than God all by Himself. I was starting to think “if I was here, If God would give me this, and God if this happened I would be happy and everything would be perfect” but really, I needed God to show me my heart and make me over which He really is doing and its PAINFUL at times because I’m really having to renew my mind and let go of my own understanding to develop faith even MORE in the unseen and unknown.

As I was spending time with God I was listening to this sermon and the preacher said, God wants you to be fruitful. He wants us to bear His fruits of the Spirit. It’s not only our faithfulness and our works that matters but God is concerned with our characters and refining to be able to last from now to eternity.  I then came across 

James 1:2-5 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” 

It then really dawned on me that I seriously needed to change my perspective and not fight this season BUT LET GO AND LET GOD LEAD and OPEN DOORS. It then hit me that maybe what I wanted I did not have the strength and ability to let go and I needed cultivation. God wants my fruitfulness and once I got this in my head and really accepted this, God then opened a door for me and IM NOW EMPLOYED with an amazing job! And even had to turn down 2. It really got me thinking because how often do we pursue things we are not ready to handle and apply for things out of impatience and desperation and that throws us off track? How many of us are gardens without gardeners and now we can’t be kept adequately because we didn’t allow God to tend to us? The devil will rush you to make rash decisions outside the will of God and have you feel like you're missing out. Don't fall for his tricks. Your value is not in what you're doing but Who you are and what Christ says you are.

 If you’re a new graduate or are in a silent season I would really encourage you to just rest and chill because God will always take care of what’s His and He will open doors with no problems for “The blessing of the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.” Proverbs 10:22. You don’t know what’s ahead and what you need to prepare for so literally ask God and He will guide you and bring you wise counsel and you have the rest of your life to work trust me! IM ALREADY TIRED HAHA. I’m not by any means what I ought to be and I don't know a whole lot but if God can reveal himself to me, He can to you too. I know that Life after graduation can have some major effects on your mental health because it did to me and If that’s your case I would also encourage you to not fight change – I'm still adjusting myself and I'm learning that change is ok. Life changes are usually out of our control. Of course, some initial resistance is natural, but it is really important to allow yourself some time to initially freak out. But then, positively breakdown the positives.You’re a blank canvas and God is your painter. You’re not alone, you have God and friends and Family.  Oh and me of course hahaha.

1.Talk to your fellow graduates and family.

it can be really daunting to have so much pressure piled onto you, especially if you don’t know what your next move is. Talking to your careers advisors before you graduate can open up some possibilities for yourself and your career. I also had amazing friends who really kept me accountable by checking on me generally and to ensure I was working on goals I had set to achieve prior to graduation, they really kept me in prayer and encouraged me.

2. Wait for the right job, rather than the first job.

Try not to be in such a desperate rush that you take a job just because it was the first one that came your way. Take your time with the important things in life – no job, relationship or experience should be hastily embarked upon due to fear of life passing you by.

3. Don’t compare yourself to other people.

Do not envy and congratulate your friends when they deserve it. As hard as it is to stomach at this point in, accept that everybody is different and God has a path different for them

4. Work out

When you look Good you feel good and you have the TIME to get fit! It improves your mood too.

5. Embrace the fact that you don’t have to go to work every day.

The opportunities to sleep in were bliss at University! work life is not like that so enjoy it.

11. Remind yourself that this stage is just a stage, and it too shall pass.

You may be disappointed, and your will and your way may be denied, but be assured that the Lord loves you, I know It’s hard to have a nice day when you wake up to an email saying, you didn’t get the job. But remember how things always work out in the end and one day you will be the one with the experience landing the job.

 .

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Old Habits die Hard: beaten but i'm victorious

Why can’t you get this right … You’re such a failure”, “maybe you should just leave it... I mean it’s not that bad anyway right? “You’ll never get through it”, “why even bother?” “Do you think Jesus loves you and you keep falling for the same sins?”, “am I really saved?”

These are the many thoughts which have often plagued my mind during a period of brokenness, impatience, after failing at something, or when I felt like I took two steps forward and ten steps back. Recently I went through one of those periods whereby I have been impatient. I was just hard on myself and felt like I just wasn’t where I needed to be in life and I was failing at life miserably.

So I said to God I needed Him to come and work on me and He shown a light on something I had lost  my grasp on. A key thing which he revealed and I have come to learn and understand especially during a point of weakness is that there is a there is a difference between conviction and condemnation. 

Conviction: It’s a horrible feeling but it has good purpose so we can be converted and renewed to be in the image of Christ (see Isaiah 1:18). That is God’s way of tugging at our hearts to say, “Be on guard, you’re a child of God and Satan seeks to take you out”, “you’re slipping away, come home”, or “you know that didn’t please me, that was your old sinful nature, but come meet me in prayer and let’s get you clean”. Condemnation: This is no good feeling either and it’s certainly not from God. It’s not God’s will for any to perish (see 2 Peter 3:9). Jesus himself said he didn’t come to condemn, but to save us (see John 3:17). Condemnation is that voice when you hear “you will never get through this,” “you're a failure” “you need to show them” “just leave the church” or “God doesn’t love you and will never forgive you.”

Don’t get it twisted, God is not and will never be happy when we sin, and He certainly will not turn a blind eye to it, BUT He won’t simply cut you off for making a mistake. The bible shows that God is gracious, and only leaves us to do whatever we want when we clearly show Him we don’t want to listen (Romans 1:20-32). This was one of the things I was really finding it hard to come to grips and understand. This led me to a refresher on the prodigal son. This is one of many examples of what happens when we decide to do our own thing (sin). God is watching and waiting daily for us to return, but he won’t force us to come back. Yet, his love is displayed when He sees we made the effort to come back and He will run to meet us (Luke 15:11-32). Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. (James 4:8).

This was a major point for me. The major point being when WE make the EFFORT to come back and choose to lay aside our sins every day. See coming to God is a personal choice but know that we can’t be for God and be partaking in sin and many other trifling behaviours because it’s NOT God. In other words “he ain’t about that life”. This is where conviction comes into play and The Holy Spirit prompts us to let it go and chose to live Holy. When we disobey we are rebelling just like Satan did and we are essentially saying we are on His side. Disobedience will always catch up with you. I know this first hand. We can’t do the opposite of what God wants then pray for His blessings. There are many examples of this such as the Children of Israel. God was patient with and He would take them back with open arms but because they constantly chose sin and rebellion of Gods laws and precepts, eventually, they came to the place where the presence of God was no longer among them. The glory of God had departed and this is why they were defeated during wars.

God will not tolerate habitual sinning under any circumstances, so just because the process is long doesn’t mean you just give in. This is why we need Jesus to come and cleanse us from our deliberate and secret sins and old mind-set (see Psalm 19:12-14). Yes we are human and we all know from experience (I know I do) that we have our weaknesses, which is why we must seek God for strength because it’s a process whereby we need to learn and realise we can’t do it without him. I know in many cases I have cried especially when going through something hard that if only it would just go away with one prayer and that’s it, struggle done, or I have felt like if I was somewhere else then my life could be different.However, God allows us to have these struggles so we can only rely on His grace for strength (2 Corinthians 12:5-11).  It is through experiencing hardships or when I would rather be elsewhere doing something else that I really realise that without God it’s impossible.

 I have had to really wake up to this because it can be easy to think that because I’m living for God and I’m trying, I’m not gonna have any issues. This is far from the truth. I believe this is something which is often overlooked in our church today and we fail to really tell and to testify to people that this walk is not easy. Problems are a guarantee because it’s the package that comes with being in a sinful and fallen world however, victory is promised and GUARANTEED through Jesus. That is why Paul says he rejoices in persecutions and areas of weakness, because we can use it to our advantage. If we didn’t have any issues, we wouldn't see our need for Jesus. Our shortcomings teach us to be more reliable in Christ, they force us to have to pray and read our bible more and apply it.  

This Christian walk is a journey and process of character refinement and some things will  not happen overnight which is where I had got it wrong especially when I would beat myself up about not being where I wanted to be or not getting over something quick enough. I wanted discipline without the devotion and experience with God. I sometimes still do. However, without Christ, I cannot make core changes that will last and that requires an everyday sacrifice and devotion to God every second. I’m learning that it is through my devotion to Christ that I am able to be disciplined.

God wants a devoted people who are willing to change and let go of their sins. God wants a people committed to him as well as to the PROCESS of sanctification in order to be impactful to our communities and lead others to Christ too, so they can see and experience the great work He did and IS doing.

If I am going through this process I know someone else is too and I want to encourage you along with me to not allow our struggles to become our identity. Lets together trust God in this journey we are on, even when its stagnant or super hard.

No sin or problem or place in life outweighs grace and no stronghold is greater than the Holy Spirit. Nothing can separate us from the love of God that was in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:35-39).  Don’t give up because of some mistakes or shortcomings, just decide to choose God each time. He will not cast away His work which He has started in you. It’s not in Gods character to turn away a repentant sinner, “He is not a man that He should lie…” so don’t run away from Him (Numbers 23:19)

I know that although my old habits are not leaving immediately, in Jesus name I will kill those old habits daily as God molds me into His image. I am free, in Jesus name! I am loved, accepted, and forgiven by the mercy and grace of God! Let’s allow ourselves to go through the process and learn especially in the toughest periods of life when we feel like nothing is happening or changing to let God do His greatest work on us.

Old habits die hard, at times I’m beaten but I’m always victorious through Jesus. Im on a journey and I'm making it!

Love Rejoicexox       

He likes me, He likes me NOT ?.. the deal with situationships and relationships.

So, it’s Valentine’s day and this time of year the topic of dating, and breakups, engagement, and marriage is more eminent. But today I want to address a whole new category of relationships that I think we forget about sometimes — a category of relationships that are harder and more confusing than maybe any other.  SITUATIONSHIPS.

This I would describe as the in-between relationships, friends but always a little more, sort of dating, but not quite, liking each other but never actually pursuing anything, together but without a title. The question of what are we always looms over your shoulder, if they do something you don’t like, you don’t really have any right to be mad. They’re fun but confusing, FULL of emotion, totally lacking clarification, and they can be stressful and very time-consuming. You both might say “you’re not ready for a relationship” yet you clearly want to be with him “you’re going with the flow and seeing how things go”. Trust me, of these I know too well.

As females, we tend to overanalyse almost everything. Our brains go into overdrive, trying to work out whether the guy we are interested in REALLY likes us and if we would work out, then we also think about why we are overthinking things and how we probably shouldn’t be in a relationship anyway. These types of thoughts and relationships whether you like it or not also seeps into your relationship with God, so instead of it being about HIM, it’s now about him. Now you’re distracted, your prayers are very emotion-led versus spirit-led. You might even ask God to show you whether this is the right guy or not and what He thinks of the relationship, and sure enough He gives you the signs and reasons and your gut feeling is also telling you NO! But alas, you go ahead and pursue the relationship anyway, plunging into low self-esteem wondering why you’re not enough to be in a relationship with. Your prayer time is consumed with prayers about the guy, you’re not really focused on things above or how God feels. Over time your prayers become more and more selfish and even worse maybe they come to a halt altogether because of this mess.

Now this is a topic I could go on and on about from personal experience and from stories of friends and observations. Today however, I just wanna drop some knowledge that if I could go back and give myself or someone else advice I would say. One thing I would most definitely say is that “Girl, he is NOT worth it!!!”

I know how much you care for this guy, how often you pray for him, how badly you want things to work out and it would be AWESOME if he’d make his intentions known and make the plunge. You’re probably asking yourself if he doesn’t like me then why is he flirting, or treating me like his girl? You’ve probably prayed for God to remove any feelings for him but they are still there so now you’re wondering if it means it’s okay? Then you also have your friends and other outsiders telling you how great and perfect you guys would be together.

I know you’re probably feeling and playing detective trying to put pieces together and you’re in a never-ending que just waiting. It’s all just complicated.

 Now coming from someone free from such nonsense (because that’s exactly what it is), don’t give your emotions away until its truly asked for in honest and open pursuit and unless he shows you how he feels and commits to that. Don’t fall in the trap of mixed messages. If the relationship is going to happen there is a point when the guy has to make his intentions clear and come through. Until then keep yourself to yourself. This can be super hard because as females, we are such lovers and we want to care and connect with others. As amazing of a trait this is, it can land us in trouble when we become invested in the wrong person and at the wrong time. You probably have so much hope that he is going get it together and recognise the QUEEN you are especially because you’re putting so much in. But unless he tells you how much he likes you and asks for the commitment and you get the go ahead from God. He has no place in your heart.

Please, I beg of you to let it go and start to appreciate the One who has done it ALL for you. He loved you since the beginning of time, had a plan for you to prosper you, He was and is STILL intentional about you and He SHOWED it through the plan of salvation. Don’t forget that right now you have the most amazing man after your heart. “For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” (Isaiah 54:5) BEFORE you were in the womb He knew you (Jeremiah 1:5).He has written your name on his hand with blood shed on the cross from borrowed nails (Isaiah 49:15-16).In that moment when you’re feeling LONELY and really want a special text or just some human company that’s NOT your friends ,He wants to fill you up so you will never thirst again; “He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” (Isaiah 58:11). Don’t settle for anything from a guy when God has promised to give EVERYTHING you need in Jesus. He is not a man that He should lie for everything He has said has come through! You will not be disappointed but instead MIND-BLOWN by such an indescribable love that is not based on emotions or situations but just because He loves you, wants you and THE BEST FOR YOU. 

A Godly woman fears the lord, she lives her life for THE KING before she lives for a king. She loves the Lord and does everything for His glory and purpose. If you’re crazy about a guy who is flaky and probably not the right one imagine when it is the right one approved by God himself and you will have peace about it. Your future guy who is of GOD is out there depending on you NOT to settle and waste time creating unnecessary baggage before God allows you to be together. Let it Go, don’t forfeit your future on a situationship, on something not beneficial for you.

It’s not easy, especially when you’re in the moment, when feelings are running so strong and you have made a form of bond with the guy. But girl, you really deserve nothing less. Neither you or the guy will benefit in this situation as both of you will be left confused, tied up and emotional about the thing. As much as it is a learning experience, it takes away time from God and being focused on heaven and your earthly goals.

I’m praying for you right now — for the desire to let the situationship go and for you to crave God instead. I’m also praying for you to have strength, and wisdom, and clarity. There is nothing easy about this situation, but God’s in it with you and when He responds LISTEN THEN MOVE. The lesson of disobedience will be even worse to bear.
stay tuned for part 2

Love Rejoicexox.